New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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