i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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