do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize