She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
