sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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