Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think my moral compass just broke
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
