Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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