I'm really into asian looking animals
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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