Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize