I am puke
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
