p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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