i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
