you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
