His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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