Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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