That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
