I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
