5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
