Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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