$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize