You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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