He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize