Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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