Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
