dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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