Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
