yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
