I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize