id be glad to
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
