haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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