Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
high people should be assigned attendants
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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