actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
