i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's always time for handjobs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
