"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
