no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
