i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
