I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
