Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
