i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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