I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
