nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He did a backflip because drugs
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