I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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