i barfeds in our rink
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize