Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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