Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
