My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
