Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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