nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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