My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
