I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
