Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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