I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize