Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They have beer where we have blood.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
