so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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