You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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