sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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