Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
