One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
