im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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