you would pick up someone in the library
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i think we sleep fucked last night...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
