We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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