we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
