so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
