therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize