I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
