We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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